Things to do when you're in The Gambia

• Get dragged to the police in the middle of the night by an old Guinean meat seller for failure to comply to his random post-prep price change.
• Decline eating the meat after the police help pay for it because it tastes like sweat.
• Forward your ‘love texts’ to a friend so that he may use them on the girl he’s courting.
• Wake up the caretaker who is sleeping under your desk and throw his cigarettes out the door (for added emphasis).
• Inform impertinent schoolboys that you left some pens and bottles ‘over that hill’ and watch them run in vain under the blazing sun.
• Notice bits of your garbage popping up as useful items throughout the village.
• Fear that people know the dish soap bottle they are drinking from was your castoff and are eyeing your backyard for more treasures.
• Allow your ceiling to disintegrate into termite dust, despite the loving paint job it received from your site-mates.
• Tally the appearances of a certain president’s image on local television in a given hour. (23)
• Enlist small children to run your errands with the coveted reward of liking them.
• Explain in Mandinka why you can never see the people on the laugh track while watching "Keeping up Appearances" on an old black and white.